Hi, welcome to Lush! Can I help you find anything? And I mean anything. It doesn’t have to be one of our products! I’m happy to aid you in your search for things beyond the scope of this store—from helping you take a personal inventory to identifying what you want to change in your life and possibly even exploring existential terrain, like what your life’s purpose is and if you’re on the right track to fulfilling it. In the meantime, let me at least provide you with some samples of our lemon-lavender bubble bar for your journey.
Hi, welcome to Lush! Just holler if you need anything. Actually, scratch that. There’s no need to holler; I won’t be too far away. In fact, I’ll be trailing not far behind you; not uncomfortably close to the point that you feel like your personal space is being invaded, but close enough to catch you were you to fall. Think of me as the world’s most-reliable trust-fall partner. Go ahead, give it a try! I promise your toes will just barely leave the ground before you'll be falling into my loving, tender embrace. If you don’t leave here feeling comfortable enough to list me as an emergency contact, I’ll quit this job on the spot.
Hi, welcome to Lush! Do you want to talk about it? I know you haven’t explicitly said anything was wrong, but I’m very attuned to body language, and yours is communicating to me that you’re grappling with—let’s see here—some kind of insecurity stemming from a deeply rooted fear of rejection. Am I right? If so, would you care to share while I rub your arm with this honey and cocoa butter soap? If you’re not feeling lighter by the time we’re done, my co-worker, Siobhan, will be happy to do some light chakra realignment on you when she gets back from her lunch break. In the meantime, feel free to use our restroom while you wait—straight through the back. The “Employees Only” sign is just a formality. Make yourself at home! Here, take this set of hand towels with your initials monogrammed on them that I just 3D-printed for you.
Hi, welcome to Lush! You don’t know me, but I have a portrait of your deceased childhood pet tattooed across my chest. Anyway, let me know if there’s anything I can help you find today!
Hi, welcome to Lush! Can I just say, your aura is blinding—but in a good way! I can just tell that you have a solid sense of self; I can practically hear the chords of KT Tunstall’s “Suddenly I See” strumming from your being. You just radiate goodness all around, and I have the sudden urge to protect that. Not that I’m saying you need the protection, or that you’re weak, or anything like that—quite the opposite: your strength is rare and coveted. We need your type of energy now more than ever. Listen, I don’t tell a lot of people this—only the ones who walk through our doors—but I would take a bullet for you.
Hi, welcome to Lush! Oh my god, I thought you looked familiar; I delivered you! I could never forget that face, which, might I add, is glowing. Ugh, just like your mother’s was on the day you were born, right on the floor of our store where it used to be in this mall before it was renovated a few years ago; there’s a Things Remembered there now. It was my first week of work—did your mom ever tell you that?—and I thought I had overfilled the demo tub with water, but it turns out that it was just you, announcing your arrival! There was no time to go to the hospital, so I rolled up my sleeves, and did what I had to do. I still have a picture of myself holding you. Anyway, did you inherit your mom’s sensitive skin? Don’t worry, I’ve got just the thing for you.
Hi, welcome to Lush! Do you, by any chance, need a kidney?