Greg, your prescription is ready for pick-up at CVS Pharmacy. Please come pick it up at your earliest convenience. We will hold it for you until Monday.
Greg, you still have a prescription ready for pick-up at CVS Pharmacy. When do you plan to come pick up your prescription? Reply 1 for today, 2 for tomorrow, or 3 for other.
Greg, we couldn’t help but notice that you replied 3 for “other” for when you can come pick up your prescription, which is ready for pick-up at CVS Pharmacy. Could you possibly clarify what you mean by “other”? Could that mean “tonight”? Or, perchance, are you on your way now? We’re hoping it’s the latter, as your prescription is ready for pick-up at CVS Pharmacy.
Greg, your prescription is ready for pick-up at CVS Pharmacy, which we think warrants a reminder since you were unable to pick it up in the hour that has passed since our last notification to you. Could “other” still refer to the window of time that falls between now and when we close? Or, better yet, just now?
Greg, your prescription is ready for pick-up at CVS Pharmacy, but please note that we close in about an hour—fifty-eight minutes to be exact. Would you like to come pick up your prescription now? You literally live around the corner, and we know you haven’t moved because you were here last week, picking up your other prescription last Monday—cutting it close! You like to live life on the edge; we respect that. We are all for celebrating individual autonomy and the right to live your life the way you want. Have you seen the Pride makeover we gave our logo in June? We’re all for, like, that. But what we’re not here for is you not getting your prescription, which is available for—and we can’t stress this enough—pick-up, at CVS Pharmacy, which now closes in fifty-seven minutes.
Greg, u up?
Greg, your prescription is still ready for pick-up at CVS Pharmacy. And you might be wondering how we were able to italicize the word “still” or incorporate formatting of any kind into a text message. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. And we’ve been notifying you that your prescription is ready for pick-up for almost twenty-four hours now. Franky, we’re getting concerned: are you okay? You weren’t in an accident involving a rogue hot food cart, were you? We’re hoping it’s just a case of an uncharged phone, if anything. Either way, we hope your faculties remain intact or at least functional enough for you to be able to come pick up your prescription, which is available at CVS Pharmacy.
Greg, just in case your phone was, indeed, uncharged, and it’s just turning back on, we thought we’d notify you again that your prescription is available for pick-up at CVS Pharmacy. Just wanted to bump this notification up to the top of your texts, not to instill a sense of urgency (that is not the intention of our texts to you, but, again, we can’t control how you receive these missives), but just a friendly, yet mildly stern (I think we can both agree that we’ve been more than patient with you, and there’s a pun there to be made with “patient,” but the time for jokes is long gone) reminder.
Greg, your prescription? It’s ready. For pick-up at you-know-where. But, in case you don’t, since we don’t know if you’ve even read these last few notifications seeing as though your prescription is still here, at CVS Pharmacy, we meant CVS Pharmacy. And, yes, we know we told you that we would hold your prescription until Monday. But we were just saying that with the hope that it would incite a determination in you to complete this task with haste, and pick it up sooner than—as you apparently have an inclination towards—later. But later might be too late. This is not a threat, just a fact. We are merely reacting. The ball has overstayed its welcome in your court, don’t you think? So, yeah, we might hold your prescription until Monday. Or we might not. Depends on how we’re feeling. We could take it out back and run a Kia Shortage over it, rendering it into dust in the wind. Two can play this game—even if one of us is an automated bot.
Greg, your prescription actually requires prior authorization. You will be notified when it will be available for pick-up at CVS Pharmacy.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but this post is satire.